Depressive times.

So, I have started like 3 different blog posts in the past week (ish) and each one has just failed miserably and just drabbled on, then I would make myself a promise to myself that I would come back later and finish it. But alas, I is lazy and they sucked so I gave up. Sowry

So life, meh.

I actually had a social life last weekend. Went out for a grown-up meal on Friday night for Olivia's birthday partay (yes I say partay(do you know that every time I write "partay" I have to erase it and write it again cos I get the letters mixed up?)) So yeah, that was rather fun, saw a "fit" waiter. The "fit" is in "" because personally I didn't think he was that good looking but according to Sophie and Leah he was. But then again I will NEVER trust Leah's judgement on guys.

Hmm...

Then on Saturday, we threw Mel a surprise partay. It actually went as planned (unlike the nightmare that had stalked my sub-conscience the night before) and she was vair vair surprised, which was pleasing also. So we ate, played camp rock scene it (yus, we are cool) ate some more, played uno for about an hour, made a bar chart like charlieissocoollike's but out of m&m's rather than wine gums.

Wow those were rather lengthy paragraphs, usually I just do lots of sentences with paragraph spaces (what are they called? Do they have a name?)

So the past few days have actually been horrible. Just feel...meh. Just really down and I don't really know why :/ Just felt like cutting myself away from everyone. And I kinda did which I feel extremely guilty about. I thought I could kinda just sit there and no-one would notice. But they did and I had the constant questions all day.

"You okay?"

"Are you sure?"

"What's wrong?"

"Why are you so quiet?"

And every time I just answered; "no" or "I'm fine"

I know they didn't believe me, but meh.

ARG! WHY ISN'T YOUTUBE WORKING!!....s'ok, fixed it.

So I'm listening to beautiful by Bethany Dillon over and over. It's a really beautiful song (no duh, it's called beautiful, stupid.)

Man, that voice in my head just likes to piss me off. That's what the brackets usually are, me contradicting myself.

But anyway, yeah it's really pretty. But the video I'm listening to it on has pictures of people slitting their wrists, uber skinny people looking a mirror and seeing themselves fat and people crying :/ Think It's kinda of a depressing song, but I love it.

Hmm, now listening to Just a Dream by Carrie Underwood. This song makes me want to cry all the time. It's about a girl who was gonna marry this guy but then he went to war and died and now she's at his funeral rather than their wedding :'( I really have a knack of listening to really upsetting songs when I'm in my own little depressive state.

Speaking of songs that make me cry. The Best Day by Taylor Swift always has me holding back tears. Not 'cos it's sad because it is so beautiful :)

Hum... eugh. Have to go to the doctors on Friday :( I have to have a blood test, so that's gonna be a nice way to start my weekend, with a needle being shoved into my arm.

Hmm, I feel like I'm rambling again, gonna let you guys escape from my little bubble. Gonna go watch charlieissocoollike to cheer myself up. It'll work for a little bit.

Buh-bye :*
oxox

p.s. nyahh, I should really read this over and see if it's boring or whatever, butt...I reeally can't be bothered. So I apologize in advance.